Saturday, January 16, 2010

Science Schmience

My strengths do not lie in Science.

That my friends, is a fact. They just don't. I can chit chat to anyone. I love to read and devour books. I can find my way through strange cities where I don't speak the langauge. I am caring, compassionate and I hope that despite my sometimes scattered nature, the sometimes what-the-heck-is-she-talking-about confusion that my presence causes...I am a good person.

But I am not good at Science.

I can understand some basic principles - sure.

I can follow most scientific blabber - at an elementary level.

But when my VERY scientifically minded cousins start discussing drug resistant anit-bodies for HIV pathogens in the large intestine...I'm mostly lost.

Or when they start talking about the rumen of a cow and the nitrogen levels that exist within eyes begin to glaze over. But just a little. And, erm, in the...good way.

So you have to excuse me for my complete and utter ignorance of most things scientific.

Except that I have discovered something that I'm sure has broken some huge, ginormous, monumental scientific law..somewhere. I'm SURE of it. It must have something to do with Einstein, Newton or Descartes. And maybe it has to do with relativity or perhaps it is gravity or the speed of light. I'm not really sure because, well, like I already told you - I don't DO science..but I assure IS something BIG.

You see - in each day we have 24 hours. And within each of those 24 hours there are sixty minutes. And there are sixty seconds within each of those minutes. And each one is EXACTLY and PRICISELY the same distance apart from each other.

Scientific fact - right?

WRONG - It WAS a scientic fact - until NOW that is.

You see - they all SEEM exactly alike - and to the naked eye..they are. But look closely - especially when these hours, minutes and seconds are inbetween times when you've pressed the 'snooze' button on your alarm clock... (I PROMISE if you do too will discover what my great scientific mind has already discovered...)It seems that that time when you're snooze button is activated is WAY shorter than it says it is. For REAL.

True story. I gaurentee it.

I hereby offically give this theory my scientific stamp of approval.

And yes, those really are the first thoughts that pop into my head as I groan and turn off my snooze button and drag my butt outta bed far too early on a Saturday morning to tutor a far too peppy seven year old.

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