CuddleBugs

Life has been crazy.

I haven't been making enough time for the people I love, or the people that love me.

I know this. There are future updates about my thoughts, worries and paranoia about this to come.

But for now..let's just say that I did a little catching up tonight. With friends who are dear to my heart where I was able to indulge in some yummy food and was subsequently showered in love by a little boy who always seems to make me smile..no matter what.

I was told that I'm never allowed to leave the country again, should never have a boyfriend unless it was him and then I was cuddled because I am the "berry best cuddlebug in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD". After that I was given a bajillion kisses and sang a song about how I am the very best auntie Erin in the whoooooooole world...which ended with a whole bunch of high pitched seranades describing how awesome I am.

Five year olds know where it's at. It being me, of course.

I can't believe that he's five. What happened to the little four pound imp I held at the hospital and was so scared of breaking? How did that little fella grow into this big boy who's gaining inches on me as I stare in disbelief and can't believe how tall he's getting. How is it possible that he knows his full address? That he can count to a bajillion and has a half a dozen girlfriends wherever he goes? (I'm his favourite - duh.) I don't know where the time has gone and he's grown up so much...it seems like yesterday when he took his first steps, when his only words were '(tr)ucks' and 'big (tr)ucks'..when strangers were scary...and cuddles and a popsicle could cure all of lifes woes. Those times stretching so far into the past these days...makes me so scared for the days when he pulls away from my goodnight kisses, when he won't hold my hand anymore and when he tells me that girls are yucky. Because, well, I'm not sure if you know this...but, well...I'm kinda a girl...and if girls are yucky..then that means he might think that I'M yucky...and then that will just plain old break my little heart.

For now I guess I'll just have to take my cuddles where I can get them, kiss him extra for when he's a teenager and he's too cool to come within ten feet of me and take lots of pictures to remind me of when he was so little, so sweet and the cutest little guy that I ever did see.

I need more times like this. Times that make my heart so happy...and I get my very own cute as can be cuddlebug.



Why can't boys MY age that are actually within boyfriend range be this sweet and cute? Write me songs about how much they love me and want to cuddle, offer up their hard earned pennies and dimes (erm - in the lil fella's case - it was...literally...pennies..and dimes) to treat his date (ME! :O) to dinner. Stupid life! Boys suck. Unless they're five. Then I love them.

Ugh...on that note..it's bedtime...because that's a whole other can of worms that is a completely different post for a completely different sleepless night.

Thanksirthday

This year was a year that thanksgiving also fell on my birthday..

And what a lovely birthday it was!

First off...I can't believe that I'm 24. I don't feel like 24..although I'm not really sure what 24 SHOULD feel LIKE. I feel like I should probably be more 'grownup' and what have you by the ripe old age that is almost a quarter of a century..and I feel like 24 is a lot older than 23. At twenty three I could still get away with saying things like 'Oh, I'm only 23!' and people would look at me with their mouths dropping and be like...oh of course it's okay to go and take off and travel for a year! Don't worry about finding a job or settling down or being responsible or any of that stuff...there is no need when you're you're twenty three! You've got your WHOLE life infront of you!" But...at 24..I feel like I should probably be more responsible..kind of like people expect me to be...Like I should actually be settling down and all over this grown up and/or growing up stuff. I'm actually quite content with where I am generally in my life right now. At least, in the way that my life is moving. Yes, there are a lot of things that I would like to change and do and be in my life..but it's a slow but steady process to get where I want to be...and with this birthday...I feel as though it's time for a fresh start..and I'm determined to make this year that fresh start. A year of doing things to make the world a better place, a year of doing what *I* love, a year doing what makes *me* happy..in hopes of making myself a better person that stays like that forever, instead of just a year....I firmly believe that if you're happy, and you're committed to making the world a better place..then the world will become a better place, and you will be happier for it. And we all know that happiness is infectious (or at least, I believe it is!) and I really want to make sure that each and every day, I'm part of that.

I've never really been that BIG on birthdays though...and although I've decided that this year I'm making a commitment to change and to living the life the way that I want to...it's not necessarily the BIRTHDAY that is the starting point...it's just the way I happen to be expressing it.

Birthdays have never actually been that big of a deal to me...I'm not that big on presents...I have enough stuff as it is..and anything I need or want, I'm usually able to get it for myself..I've always been rather independent...so I don't really enjoy having people buy me gifts..I just like spending time with ones that I love...and this year was exactly that.

It was so lovely to spend the entire day with family that I really and truly care about and love beyond belief. We ate good food, went for walks, laughed, chatted, carved pumpkins, were silly and were happy.

Really, what more of a birthday can you want? :)

Mish Mash O Thanks

My family has arrived from Africa!!!

Well, one cousin and her Dad, the other cousin and their mom (my aunt) come in about 10 days!! I'm really excited that they're here for thanksgiving..even though I had to work all weekend, and am as per usual am throughly exhausted! It's just so nice to have them here...it really just puts a lot of things into perspective and gives me so much more to be thankful for.

Out of ALL of my cousins, they're definitely the ones that I'm closest with..even though we've actually never lived in the same city...It must have something to do with being close-ish in age, having very similar morals/beliefs/values and being the only girl cousins for SO long.

It's rather lovely that they're moving back! My cousin Roberta will be staying here a looong time as her and her husband just bought a house in town but unfortuantly my other cousin, Edana, will only be here until the beginning of January until she moves to Boston for a job she took here. As much as it's impressive to say 'Yeah, I have a cousin who does research at Harvard'...I'd still rather she stay HERE! Ah well...just a good excuse to visit Boston I suppose!

I'm so excited to spend more time with them and actually have a chance to REALLY get to know them..because as much as I love them and we always spend time together when we're in the same city/country/continent..but it'll be nice to spend a lot of real quality time with them :) Although I am a little worried about bombarding them with love and them becoming overwhelmed with family always wanting to spend time with them...so I'll do my best not to do that..but there is only so much that I can restrain myself...haha!

Anyways, I spent a lovely evening with them tonight, just sitting around in my grampa's basement..haha! Tomorrow they come out for thanksgiving dinner..where it's quite possible that we will all eat until we explode. I'm not even joking about how much food we have..it's kind of disgusting..in the completely, totally and utterly delicious sense of the word. We've been joking all week about how we all need to get 'Thanksgiving Pants' like Joey does in Friends.



Ha. I love that show. Classic Joey moment..right there.

So, that's basically what we'll all be doing tomorrow. You know, eating way too much and then complaining about how we ate so much, probably eating some more..and then falling asleep on the couch. At least that's my plan...I might take a little walk and take some pictures of the BEAAAAAUTIFUL fall pictures...but then..the couch *is* pretty darn comfy. We'll see how COLD it is tomorrow. Eck.

All things considering..there is a lot to be thankful for this year...I'm not scaling the Eiffel Tower like I was this weekend last year, but I am surrounded by a mass amounts of wonderful family and friends. We have far too much food...we're surrounded by the beauty that is Ontario in the fall (which by the way...is TOTALLY giving Paris in the fall a run for it's money...) ..we have our health and more often than not, smiles on our faces. It seems like the older I get..the more I realize how important it is to be thankful for the smaller things, the things that I use to take for granted..and take whatever simple pleasure I can from those :)

Oh, and speaking of getting older...there's also that pesky little thing about my 24th birthday. Which, I've decided that I'm a little bit in denial about. It's not ACTUALLY my birthday tomorrow. Nah. Buuut...more to come on that later...for today I'll be thankful that I'm still 23 for another couple hours, and not one step closer to being a quarter of a century old (AHH!)

Happy Thanksgiving Folks!

Birthday Love

I've never been that big of a fan of birthdays...they come, you get older..and they pass. I'm sure when I was younger I enjoyed them quite a lot..but these days..it's just another indication of just HOW fast time is passing by..I can't believe that in less than three short weeks I turn 24, but that's an entirely different story. Anyways, I think that another reason why I tend to get freaked out about birthdays is because they are a little like a lot of events that happen in life..they have all of this pressure surrounding them, and when things don't go exactly as planned, peoples hopes get dashed and they end up upset...I like when things just sort of spontaneously happen, and have just enough effort put into them so that they work out well and are cohesive and everyone is happy..but not so much that if something goes slightly awry, everyone can survive without any sort of drama occuring. In the past, I've been involved in so many birthdays, and half of them always end up with some sort of something going wrong...a boy problem, a wrong present, people not showing up when they're supposed to....a balloon pops in someones eye..and they end up spending the night in the ER instead (ha - erm..totally NOT me..*shifty eyes*)...there are lots of things that seem to be able to go wrong...

But last week, I had the pleasure of being involved in a lovely birthday celebration..where everything was just..perfection.

My friend Steph had her 24th birthday and her fiance, Matt, organized a low key celebration with some friends in town.

We all made our way to a lovely little restaurant downtown which I'd never had the pleasure of dining at before...and the food was wonderful and the company was even better..

We chatted, laughed and shared a wonderful evening together :) It was an evening that made me happy beyond belief, because it was so low key, so relaxed and generally just all around enjoyable. It was the kind of evening I had been LONGING for since I had arrived at home, and it seem as though it was just the perfect mix of people that made the evening completely and totally remarkable and memorable..

It was so different from past birthdays in town. There were no elaborate cakes, decorations, huge gatherings...and oddly enough..there was also no drama, tears or upset feelings. We probably ate too much, laughed too much and went home with a smile that, had I wanted to try and take it off, would have been impossible to do..

I'm looking forward to more evenings like this, and enjoying that any sort of birthday celebrations I happen to have this year, will be as lovely as this one was.. :)