Letter To The Editor

Dear Mother Nature,

I know you're a little touchy about people criticizing you..but...uhh..what. the. heck.

I wrote a little diddy about you in this little corner of the internet a little while ago. Wherein I talked about you mixing up your months. And the possibility of you doing drugs. And other fun things like that.

I know you're getting old - and don't mean to be disrespectful...but I think that it's time that you seek help - because based purely on the fact that I was wearing flip flops in March...well..there are issues. Not that I don't LOVE wearing flip flops in ANY month. But still.

SERIOUSLY though...It's COLD. Crops are freezing to death. Literally. And I'm just a little fed up because, well, I stuck up for you. I was all 'Mother nature doesn't do drugs! That's crazy talk!'...but I'm starting to wondering if maybe you DO have a problem..because holy cow batman...it's freezing again. And it's MAY. MAY!

So really - you have two options. From the way I see it...you either need to go into rehab (but perhaps turn on some heat first?) or get some help at an adult learning centre to help with your reading problems. March has five letters and is generally cold --> warm. May on the other hand has THREE letters and goes from warm --> warmer.

Not negative temperatures.

And no snow. I don't know if you're aware - but it's not supposed to snow in May...like it did this past weekend.

So just a little heads up - Literacy is your friend. Doing drugs that make me freeze when I'm supposed to be warm and make me warm when I'm supposed to be cold is not.

Love Always,

The girl freezing under 363947293 blankets.