Monday, May 17, 2010

Sucky Sucky Blah

Death sucks.

Plain and simple, it does.

As much as someone may be suffering and in still just sucks.

Today I'm going to a wake of a man, in his late eighties who had lived a good life. I didn't know him well by any means...I can remember his face from church when I was a little girl, from the markets as he and his wife supported our growing business and our families were old friends. My aunt babysat their kids 50 odd years ago, my grandparents use to go to church functions with them, their kids grew up with my grandparents kids. He was a sweet old man whose presence will be missed.

So I wanted to go to the wake - but I hate wakes. I hate's just not how I grieve. I understand that some people need the closure and that time..but I would rather pretend that it never happened in the first place and just pretend that I haven't seen __(fill in the blank)__ for a while. It's my coping mechanism, and probably a terrible one, but so far it works for me.

But I will still go - even though these kinds of things don't suit me. I get far too emotional, stressed out and upset....but I suppose everyone does. Regardless, I will go and hug his wife, who has always been so nice to me and my family. I will go and wish them well, to tell them I'm sorry that they've lost a husband, a father and a grandfather. So even though I hate these kinds of things. I will put my big girl boots on and I will go for them - not for me - because that's what these things are all about afterall. People who love you, respect you and are important in your life coming together to comfort everyone who is left behind to put the pieces of the puzzle of life back together in some sort of sembelance.

When did growing up become so..yucky?

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