Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Please Stop Taunting Me

Dear American TV;

Sometimes I watch you, when you're playing a show that is something that I think will be amusing, educational or otherwise mind-numbing after a long day. It seems like when I'm at my cousins house, I watch you more than I watch your Canadian counterparts and I'm not quite sure why this is because sometimes, you're kind of a rather big jerk.

I have to admit it - I have some beef with you.


Turns out I'm a little bit upset with you..because...well..


And hungry with cravings for things that I cannot have.

Why ya gotta be like that? Seriously - That's not so nice. Not so nice at all.

Every time I turn around there are commercials for restaurants that we've never had in Canada, or that no longer exist in Canada...and the excessive taunting is becoming a little over the top. When you continuously show me commercials for things like Olive Garden, I start to get a little bit annoyed...and after annoyed comes down right angry. Like fist shaking angry. And you don't want me to get fist shaking angry.

You see, I haven't been to an Olive Garden in probably 20 years...and basically forgot about their existence for a LONG time. I think that the closest one to here closed down when I was six or something crazy like that..

But now everytime I turn the tv on, and you're there...and it's all...WHA-BAHM - IN YOUR FACE! OLIVE GARDEN DELICIOUSNESS! WOOOOOOOOOT!

And my tummy is all..mmm...that looks soooooooooooo yummah.

And now, all I want, EVER, beacuse of YOU...is Olive Garden. And I have no idea whether it's actually decent or any good...because I haven't had it in six katrillion years. ACTUALLY. And who remembers whether or not something was good six katrillion years ago. Not me, that's for sure.

Now you have left my cousin and I in quite the situation. We're continuously talking about how we need to drive over the border and find ourself an Olive Garden to fulfill the craving, or at least verify whether or not it's any good. We kind of hope that it's not..so that we can come back to Canadialand and never crave it again. Just so we don't feel the need to roadtrip to the States everytime we see one of those stupid commercials because we're slaves to advertisments and giant conglomerations. That would probably become super expensive, not to mention super-duper time consuming...and generally not such a good life plan.

So long story short - I'm pretty mad at you and I don't know if our affair of mind numbing television can continue if you and your advertising continue to get the best of me.

You should probably stop being such a jerk, so that we can be friends again. There are three options I can think of so that I act can go back to watching random shows on your stations (each with their own ridiculous forms of entertainment education). You either need to build an Olive Garden nearby, deliver Olive Garden directly to my door OR stop showing mouth watering commercials 24/7

If you could get all over that, I'd really appreciate it.

Love, Erin

1 comment:

  1. First of all, Thanks for the recipe ideas! Cant wait to try them out!

    Second of all, you're the THIRD person that has mentioned Olive Garden today and I am craving it soooooooo badly now! GAH!