Wherein My Skin Crawls

Tonight I heard a little "arrahhh...Erin...will you...heeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeeee" coming from upstairs.

Thinking that the dog had stolen something she wasn't supposed to have or the world was ending or some other disaster...I lept up the stairs like a klutz walking in pants that are too big up multiple flights of stairs like SUPERMAN TO THE RESCUE!

I inquired as to what I could do..and my cousin pointed to the bathtub.

Wherein I saw the most disgusting bug I've ever laid eyes on.



And I grew up in the country - I've seen some pretty disgusting bugs. And I'm not really afraid of them. I was *that girl* who would pick up spiders and taunt her bug hatin' friends with 'em....but alas...this little fella...well...he creeped the bejezus outta me.

In complete disbelief of what he could be I immediately ran and grabbed my camera to document what I could only imagine could be a strange new breed of GDB (gross disgusting bugs)...was he a spider? A caterpillar? Some sort of...hybrid? I didn't know....I just knew that he was disgusting.

And fast.

He ran around the bathtub like he was running a marathon.

Which of course got me even more freaked out.

Between the antenna on both ends of his body. The myriad of legs and the rigid nature of his body...I had no idea what I was up against when he started running.

But I did what I needed to do. I put on my big girl country pants and asked for my bug killin' tools..and smushed the heck out of that thing.

And then from underneath the paper towel I had covered it with BEFORE killing it...I could see it twitching - and being the kind person that I am...I didn't want it to suffer...so I smashed the living daylights out of it again.

And man - am I glad I did.

Because I googled that thing.

And it has eyes.

And venom.

AND LIKES TO FOOL THINGS INTO THINKING ITS DEAD BY TWITCHING AND RELEASING ITS INJURED LEG TO GET AWAY.

Let's just say - by the time I was done....it was not getting away.

Ugly gross thing couldn't fool a country girl like me.

And because I know you're all sitting on the edge of your seats worried - have no fear...the shoe is okay. It was protected by a brave piece of paper towel (which sadly, gave up its life for our dear shoe...) and is now resting comfortably and recuperating after being sterilized where all traces of possible contamination were removed.

And now yours truly wants to go and have a shower to remove any possible trace evidence of gross off of herself...and to stop her skin from feeling as though bugs are crawling all over it...but she fears that she is probably scarred for life from showering...seeing as though the worlds most gross disgusting bug climbed out of the drain today.

Vicious cycle. Vicious, vicious cycle.