Tuesday, June 15, 2010

They Say Bad Things Happen For A Reason..

I would like to believe in happiness.

I would like to believe that things happen for a reason.

I would like to believe that the world is a place where lollipops and rainbows flourish.

Unfortuantly, I know better.

I read the news - and dude, shit happens. In a big bad way.

Bombs explode, families mourn, sickness plagues, people lose their way.

And I am an emotional person. Often times, I find myself tearing up...getting upset about things that are so far beyond my reach and scope of normality that they effect me even though I cannot even fathom them.

Sometimes they're things that hit closer to home - and they're just upsetting.

Sometimes I just get upset about things - things that aren't in the news, that aren't huge things that change the entire course of...everything.

But because they're a matter of life and death - and death that could be avoided.

It's difficult for me to understand death - I just don't like it. I like to pretend that it doesn't exist. I play make believe and hide from it. I push it out of my mind and pretend that I don't have to deal with it.

In this case - I don't know the girl...I've never met her...and she lives half way around the world from me...I'm linked to her only from brief snippits of stories and words. A few facebook pictures and the odd little wall post. Nothing really..and yet...I can't help but be sad.

People say that bad things happen for a reason - but most times...it's hard to see past the tip of my nose how there could possibly be a reason for such sad things to happen in the world.

So I'm sad. Sad for a life lost far too young when it didn't have to be this way. Sad for her family that now is missing a part. Sad that this is the reality of life. My heart wishes things were different. That things weren't sad. That things could always be happy. It's true that knowledge is power...but in this case...ignorance would really be bliss...because my heart yearns for days when things weren't complicated and sad and heartbreaking...even though I know now that the world is full of these things...both on huge large earth shattering, news making ways...and in quite simple ways that go unnoticed by the vast majority of the people out there.

Despite this...I have to believe in happiness, in rainbows and sunshine dreams filled with lollipops and dancing frolics...because if I don't...I have no idea what the point of anything is anymore...and that is a more scary reality than anything.

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