Wherein My Skin Crawls

Tonight I heard a little "arrahhh...Erin...will you...heeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeeee" coming from upstairs.

Thinking that the dog had stolen something she wasn't supposed to have or the world was ending or some other disaster...I lept up the stairs like a klutz walking in pants that are too big up multiple flights of stairs like SUPERMAN TO THE RESCUE!

I inquired as to what I could do..and my cousin pointed to the bathtub.

Wherein I saw the most disgusting bug I've ever laid eyes on.



And I grew up in the country - I've seen some pretty disgusting bugs. And I'm not really afraid of them. I was *that girl* who would pick up spiders and taunt her bug hatin' friends with 'em....but alas...this little fella...well...he creeped the bejezus outta me.

In complete disbelief of what he could be I immediately ran and grabbed my camera to document what I could only imagine could be a strange new breed of GDB (gross disgusting bugs)...was he a spider? A caterpillar? Some sort of...hybrid? I didn't know....I just knew that he was disgusting.

And fast.

He ran around the bathtub like he was running a marathon.

Which of course got me even more freaked out.

Between the antenna on both ends of his body. The myriad of legs and the rigid nature of his body...I had no idea what I was up against when he started running.

But I did what I needed to do. I put on my big girl country pants and asked for my bug killin' tools..and smushed the heck out of that thing.

And then from underneath the paper towel I had covered it with BEFORE killing it...I could see it twitching - and being the kind person that I am...I didn't want it to suffer...so I smashed the living daylights out of it again.

And man - am I glad I did.

Because I googled that thing.

And it has eyes.

And venom.

AND LIKES TO FOOL THINGS INTO THINKING ITS DEAD BY TWITCHING AND RELEASING ITS INJURED LEG TO GET AWAY.

Let's just say - by the time I was done....it was not getting away.

Ugly gross thing couldn't fool a country girl like me.

And because I know you're all sitting on the edge of your seats worried - have no fear...the shoe is okay. It was protected by a brave piece of paper towel (which sadly, gave up its life for our dear shoe...) and is now resting comfortably and recuperating after being sterilized where all traces of possible contamination were removed.

And now yours truly wants to go and have a shower to remove any possible trace evidence of gross off of herself...and to stop her skin from feeling as though bugs are crawling all over it...but she fears that she is probably scarred for life from showering...seeing as though the worlds most gross disgusting bug climbed out of the drain today.

Vicious cycle. Vicious, vicious cycle.

Ketchup Terrors

I'm weird.

If you know nothing else about me..you probably know this.

But of course, this weirdness presents itself ONLY in awesome ways.

This is just general knowledge, and although I don't HAVE to write it - I thought it'd be nice to just...state some facts.

Like the fact that I have a fear of ketchup.

Now I know you're all scratching your heads and being like..what the heck Erin? You LOVE you some ketchup.

And you're right. I DO love me some ketchup.

But it also scares me. Bunches.

For obvious reasons - such as the fact that it doesn't look or taste ANYTHING like the thing it comes from...but also for not so obvious..very peculiur reasons..that don't have any explanation or make any sense.

If I were going to eat french fries..you're darn right I'd love some ketchup on those. Yup, dump a puddle of it on my plate and let me dip away - yum!

Hamburgers? Sure!

Well - as long as I don't have to put it on myself.

If I have to put it ON food myself - and am not just dipping something into it..yeaaaah...no.

I'm not so down with that.

I won't put ketchup on my own burger, or hotdog or anything else like that.

It flat out freaks me out.

But sure - I'll eat it on a burger or other food - if you put it on there for me. And you're darn right that I'll enjoy it - lots. Well, as long as I don't have to see you putting it on. That kind of freaks me out too. And when it's really cold. Ew.

Make me put it on myself though...and I'll avoid it like the plague. Mustard? Yes please! Relish? Of course! It's one of the most overlooked condiments EVER! But ketchup?

Yeah. Kinda freaks me out.

You have my complete and utter permission to judge me...now.

Ewwa

I've been sick for the last couple of days..

Nothing serious, just a cough, sore throat and a little bit of an ear ache.

Oh. And the sniffles. Gotta love THOSE.

I'm basically walking around like I'm the sniffle monster.

Which means that just about every where I go, I sniffle.

Not so surprising when you have a cold...but it's still kinda gross, and I hate being sick...

Just the feeling of being blah is so gross...but I didn't realize quite how gross it was though...how icky the sniffling was...

That is, until my cousins parrot started IMITATATING my sniffles.

Holy disgusting man.

Now, every time I walked into the room..the bird starts sniffling as though it can't breathe through its nose...and it sounds like gross. And a half. Making long disgusting (definitely exaggerated) sniffling noises.

I need to get better, quick.

Because seriously..if this is what I sound like...I'm pretty sure I disgust myself beyond belief. Ew.